So these are stories that I have from work: stories I was scared to share at first because I was afraid of talking about work. Maybe it was a fear of being fired or a fear of what a potential employer might think of me. Honestly, these stories are too funny not share.
As a bank teller. I’ve seen some weird stuff. Also some predictable stuff. Like the widow who is giving all her money to a televangelist like it will fill the void of losing your partner for life.
One day I was working and this college-age girl walks up to my window and asks to make a deposit. The check wasn’t a large amount, but I noticed she had quite a bit in her balance for such a young lady and so I we’re supposed to talk about investments in that situation. So I suggested something about getting a better return.
“Actually, I had six grand more than this last month.”
“Oh really? Did you spend it on school?” I asked.
“No, I spent them on these,” she hefted her breasts at me. Like they were cannons. Clothed cannons, but still.
My jaw hits the floor. We stand there for a few moments. Her looking all impressed with her “purchase” and me flabbergasted not only she bought a boob job, but then had to heft them up in my direction.
“Well, alright then. You have a nice day.” I think that’s what I said.
Afterwards, one of the personal bankers came up to me and asked about why a woman would make such a spectacle of herself. Mind you, there were other customers in the bank when this happened. After I told him what had transpired he asked, “Well, did you tell her it was a worthwhile investment?”
“I didn’t really say anything.”
“Well, if she comes back give her my number.”
Another teller looked at me and said, “That was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve been in banking nine years, I’ve gotten checks that say ‘thanks for the massage,’ ‘last night was great,’ and the like from professionals, but never anything like that.”